As a special witness to
The President's War on DOS Committee
Bill the Cat reveals his sordid past

"At first, I just did it on weekends, with my friends, you
know? We never wanted to hurt anyone. The girls loved it.
We'd all sit around the computer and do a little DOS. It was
just a kick. At least that's what we thought. Then it got
worse.

It got so I'd had to do some DOS during the weekdays. After a while,
I couldn't even wake up in the morning without having that crave to go
do DOS. Then it started affecting my job. I would just have to do it
during my break. Maybe a Mode command or two. I eventually started
doing DOS just to get through the day. Of course, it screwed up my mind
so much that I couldn't even function as a normal cat. DOS got me fired
from my job.

I'm lucky today. I've overcome my DOS problem. It wasn't easy. If
you're smart, just don't start. Remember, if a weirdo in a blue suit
offers you some DOS, just say no."